CANDID Interview: Eve Rodsky
Eve Rodsky is the author of New York Times Best Selling book, Fair Play. Her research and expertise were born from her “Sh*t I Do List” - all of the unpaid, invisible tasks and work she completed for her family. She sent this list to her husband, to only receive an underwhelming response. Eve realized that simply identifying the issue of unequal labor on the home front wasn’t enough: She needed a solution to this universal problem. Her sanity, identity, career, and marriage depended on it. And thus, came to life Fair Play. Reese Witherspoon learned about Eve and her research, which bridged a partnership by way of Hello Sunshine.
“Quite possibly, the silver lining of shelter-in-place may be an uptick in creativity and self-discovery. I continue to hear the most inspiring stories from men and women all over the country who are finding or reclaiming their 'Unicorn Space' in social isolation.” -Eve
What are you doing to keep your kids engaged throughout the day, while you're all at home, and how are you approaching your work?
Through Fair Play, Seth and I have redefined teamwork through 1) communicating when emotion is low, and cognition is high; 2) ownership, and; 3) trust. Effective communication is an ongoing practice that needs redirection and refinement until you achieve what feels equitable and fair. It requires accountability and trust. Having to remind your partner to do something doesn't take that something off your list. It adds to it. It's not a partnership if only one of you is running the show, which means making the important distinction between delegating tasks and handing off ownership of a task. Ownership belongs to the person who first off remembers to plan, then plans, and then follows through on every aspect of executing the plan and completing the task without reminders. We must trust our partners to 'own' a task… that's taking accountability.
View the sample schedule asset here
How are you lifting your spirits and keeping sane in the midst of this new normal?
Quite possibly, the silver lining of shelter-in-place may be an uptick in creativity and self-discovery. I continue to hear the most inspiring stories from men and women all over the country who are finding or reclaiming their 'Unicorn Space' in social isolation. In Fair Play, I describe Unicorn Space as the active pursuit of what makes you uniquely you and how you purposefully share it with the world (i.e. baking a pie for a neighbor).
Even in small doses — which is all most of us have right now — Unicorn Space is essential to your ongoing sense of self, the health of your partnership, and your ability to model what a full and meaningful life looks like to your children, friends and colleagues and your community. Tapping into that 'thing' that makes each of us come alive is vital to our mental health and our sense of self. Having Unicorn Space will 'make or break' our longevity. Even if only for five-to-ten minutes every day, I engage in an activity (beyond household responsibilities) that feels meaningful to me and brings me joy. Today it is writing this article. Continue to rebalance the division of labor in your home so that you and your partner both schedule time for Unicorn Space into your calendar.
How are you staying connected with your loved one during social-distancing?
The need for "spiritual friends" as I call them in Fair Play is at an all-time high. I have a wonderful group of college friends, and I treat our Zoom calls and texts as an investment in my mental health. This weekend, we are all doing a Family Feud Zoom to connect as families.
What is your ultimate S@H garment that's giving you coupled confidence and comfort?
I live in The Great sweatshirts. They are professional enough for Zoom but comfy enough to sleep in!
How are you reinventing your Mother's Day this year?
I don't know a mom out there who couldn't benefit from more time. And at the risk of sounding like a mom who repeats herself, here I go (again): All time is created equal. In my research for Fair Play, I found that men, women, and society view men's time as finite (like diamonds) and women's time as infinite (like sand). You and your partner each only have 24 hours in a day and each of those hours hold value.
This Mother's Day, I am making intentional choices about how I spend my valuable and finite time. And if I may offer a suggestion to your readers — clarify for yourself and then clearly communicate your feelings and needs to your partner ahead of time (i.e. before you both wake up Sunday morning to kids demanding breakfast). If you're like the majority of women who juggle nearly 75 percent of the unpaid work required to run a home and a family and now, adding in homeschooling and routinely disinfecting the entire house, the idea of carving out personal time may sound like a fever dream (even on a national holiday promoted as a "celebration" of you). And you're right. It will remain a nice-to-have fantasy until you reframe it as a must-have reality… and this requires a conversation between you and your partner that your time is as valuable as diamonds.
ARE YOU INSPIRED BY EVE? KNOW SOMEONE THAT WOULD BE, TOO? SHARE HER CANDID MOMENT.
About this Interview Series
As Mother’s Day approaches I’ve thought a lot about the importance of shining a light on all moms, particularly in the midst of this unprecedented new normal. The world is changing, but honoring and celebrating mom remains intact. Mother’s come in many forms; some gave birth to us, some just became a new mom, some adopted us, some are grandmothers, some enter our lives later in life, some are a best friend, and some found us in times of need and invited us into their lives. As part of my Candid Interview series, I had the pleasure of connecting with inspiring women who are mothers, founders, and dynamic individuals who are sharing their stories of navigating the now and how they’ll reinvent Mother’s Day this year amidst this ongoing pandemic. -LKS
This article was originally published on May 4 by Town & Style St. Louis.