Who's on Your Team?

Six months ago I broke my shoulder in a bicycle accident. Well, technically, I dislocated my shoulder and then incurred five fractures to the top of my humerus bone. Luckily, I was borderline, and my orthopedic opted not to operate. Instead, allowing the bone to heal on its own coupled with an extensive rehabilitation process. My doctor told me I would likely see 80-90% mobility and range of motion return once PT and strength training was all said and done, but never again go back to 100%. This experience is what I often now refer to as the "jackhammer." I was emotionally and mentally devastated, all while in excruciating pain. 

Over the past 20-months in particular, we've all had moments of trauma, big and small, that leave an imprint on us. At the very least, causing some roadblocks, but for others, debilitating sensations, particularly when in the thick of the experience. They show up totally unexpectedly and catch us entirely off guard. You know what I mean?

For me, the injury was just the catalyst that literally and figuratively broke open a whole bunch of old resistance and stress, this time with the added element of actual physical pain. It was beyond something far greater than I was expecting nor able to navigate on my own. It came in two phases. 

The first, after I could finally muster through a night of sleep without waking to medications wearing off, entirely took hostage of my mental and emotional state. It arrived quickly in the form of sadness, frustration, hopelessness, and lack of my body performing its previously normal functions. Such functions are necessary, and for me, are executed in athletic/movement therapy and clearing my head, which has historically been my number one tool for wellbeing. It wasn't pretty, but it was very real and showed up in every little corner of life you can imagine. I'd tell myself, "this will just go away as I heal, nothing to worry about here - there are people suffering much greater than I am, these are normal thoughts and emotions related to any injury." But no solution comes from this habit loop of thinking. 

The second is that this entire experience has led me to different experts to which I now am happy to call my team. We all have teams, whether we realize it or not. The immediate team members show up sometimes in our family and friends, whom I'm grateful for always. For me, in particular, when I needed the most basic functions of life supported the most. I'm talking about washing my hair in the shower with me because I could barely raise my arm. All the generous meal deliveries to make sure I was nourished and well-fed, and running loads of laundry with neatly folded clothing, to the smallest but biggest outreach of notes and calls to check in and distract me from the moments of just sitting with the injury. 

The team that guided me through the recovery and some who are still on my team today consist of experts in their areas because I couldn't and still can't manage this alone. Plus, many of them are critical to my achieving the best version of myself. This includes Dr. Jay Keener with Wash U. Orthopedics, who challenged my competitive nature to stay focused on all the little moments and wins in recovery; the phenomenal Julie Bokermann who met me at my type-A level of physical therapy; my two mentors whom I'm blessed to have in my life; entrepreneurial coach aka business therapist Talia Goldfarb; dietician Jennifer McDaniel for helping me get back on a nourishing track and paying attention to my body signals; and wellbeing coach Stephanie Stewart who's expertise, wisdom, and authentic spirit I need more than most things in life. 

I recognize and realize the privilege I have to build a team of such nature, while at the same time, have intentionally prioritized filling up my cup first and foremost so I can be the best version of myself. And so I can show up with verve and focus when I serve my clients. Because I'm a member of their/your teams, in the personal styling, intentionality, and fair to say, confidence-boosting arena. Really, I'm on your team, too, by building this community and engaged network of all of you who want the resources, tools, discovery, novelty, and joy when it comes to dressing, shopping, and expressing your dynamic self. 

This jackhammer has turned into a profound perspective. I had forgotten over the past few years - up until my injury - clouded by all the stresses of life, building a business, contentious family dynamics, and all the little things that pop up, that I needed more than I had previously gotten away with "giving myself" to fill my cup. It's different now. Realizing this brought me back to putting myself first so that I can be better for you. For the people whom I'm overjoyed and grateful to work with. For my friends, family, and community. 

Often in moments of extreme need, it can be hard to let others in to help us. But letting down the wall (e.g., pride, self-pity, dismissing the value-add, etc…) enables each of us to strive towards our own personal healthy potential and being. Team members ebb and flow through different experiences and phases of life, but one thing for certain is that every single one of us has a unique makeup of a team. No two are alike. There may be cross-over in team members with friends or family based on referrals, but each is its own design to best serve you when necessary, short and long term. 

So tell me, who's on your team?